Your Honor Page 11

  Deb stepped on the elevator, leaving us alone in the hallway. I pushed away from the wall and moved toward him.

  “How did it happen?”

  He shook his head, raking his fingers through his hair again. His shoulders slumped. “I went to the emergency room last night when I got the call. Mother brought her in unconscious.” His tired eyes darted up to mine. “They’re doing an autopsy.”

  When his voice cracked, I felt my chin tremble. Then suddenly, he wrapped me in a hug.

  “Jesus, Lucy.”

  Every bit of his professional façade and mine was thrown to the wind with the emotion we felt. I fell apart in his arms as his tight embrace apologized a thousand times over.

  Somewhere in my mind, I heard the ding, but it wasn’t until Jenner’s body stiffened and his arms fell to his side that I noticed a tall, blonde standing behind me. The woman from the bar. My boss, Hope had said. Perfect, what a great first impression.

  “Judge Weber. I heard you lost one,” she commented with snootiness to her tone.

  “Ms. Watkins, this is Lucy Edwards. She’s the ADA on the case.”

  With her fingertip, she touched my nose. “Oh. Poor girl. I don’t think we’ve met. Daryanne Watkins. I’m the Chief ADA. And I’m not sure if you’re aware, but ethically, hugging the judge is a big no-no.”

  “Daryanne. Enough. She was upset about the child.” Jenner turned to me. “Ms. Edwards, please go to my office. I’ll be there shortly.”

  This woman was my boss? I blotted my tears with my sleeve.

  “Ms. Watkins,” I cleared my throat and spoke. “I recommended that this child remain in out of home placement.”

  “That’s correct,” Jenner added. “It was my decision to return the girl home.”

  The woman swatted her hand his way not even giving me a look. “Please, you have judicial immunity. We will somehow get this blamed on the supervising agency. Besides, all judges have a dead baby on their caseloads.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “Ms. Edwards. Go to my office,” Jenner demanded.

  Angry, frustrated, sad…I spun around and headed toward Jenner’s office.

  When I rounded the corner, I heard her ask, “Hugging her in the hallway, Jenner? That means fucking her behind closed doors.”

  Immediately, I stopped walking.

  “I’m not doing this with you, Daryanne. But, no, I’m not fucking her, and honestly, green doesn’t suit you.”

  “Fuck off, Jenner. If you are fucking her, she’s as good as fired.”

  My jaw fell slack. Who the hell was this woman?

  “Fire away. Nothing you do will get me back in your bed.”

  Fire away? It was as if a steel knife sliced my windpipe, blocking air from going either way. The wall stabilized me once again until he hustled around the corner, nearly careening into me. His beautiful jawline hardened.

  “Ms. Edwards. Please go to my office like I’ve asked.”

  For the first time since I’d gotten his text, I was reminded of where we were. Nothing should take precedence over that. That was of the utmost importance. My heart longed for first place, but it would have to settle for second. And my mind, it couldn’t keep up with any of this.

  The sad, confused fog wasn’t broken by Jenner’s presence. When he opened the doors to his division, his assistant thankfully, wasn’t there. I sighed.

  “Come on,” he said, breezing past me into his office. He stopped at the door, waiting for me to comply, then rested his hand at the small of my back before he closed the door behind us.

  “You will have no legal responsibility with regards to the respondent, Lucy.”

  “Her name is Paige. Was Paige.” Tears brimmed my eyes as I sat. “And it sounds like you won’t either.” I hoped the terseness in my tone was evident.

  He released a pent-up breath, clawing at his hair, then collapsed in a chair opposite me. “I’m sorry for what happened to her, Lucy,” he whispered; his eyes burrowed into my soul.

  “That respondent,” I hissed throwing up air quotes. “Was a little girl who depended on me. On you. On us to keep her safe. We failed her, Jenner.” I shot up out of my chair as the tears spilled over.

  “Look. I know you’re upset, Lucy. I get it. But I have to follow the law. I don’t know how many times I have to say that to you.” Jenner sat against his desk, crossing his feet at the ankles.

  “The law protects the parents not the children. You had a child to protect. To keep out of the hands of her mother. You failed.”

  I wanted to hurt him with my words.

  “Lucy. If I’d have sided with you, I would have been appealed.”

  “So. The fuck. What!” I raised my voice, and he shot upright glaring at me. “Maybe the child wouldn’t have been killed while being appealed!”

  Chapter 15

  JUDICIAL INDISCRETIONS

  JENNER

  “Ms. Edwards,” I cautioned through gritted teeth. This was exactly why what we were doing was wrong.

  She lifted her chin even as tears made little paths down her cheeks. Damn this girl had spunk and sass like I’d never known. “Maybe you’d have gotten appealed, maybe you wouldn’t have. At least your defense would be that you aired on the side of the child. Maybe she’d be moving in with her grandparents right now rather than in a morgue. We’ll never know.”

  Fuck, I was caught somewhere between wanting to admonish her, wanting to comfort her and wanting to bend her over my desk. I reminded myself where we were.

  “It’s professional, Lucy. Not personal. My decision was based on the law, like I’ve said several times. You know…the law. The class you apparently skipped in law school.” I blurted the words out unthinkingly.

  The flare of her nostrils almost made me smile, but when her fists clenched, I flinched. “How about you fucking the Deputy District Attorney? Was that professional or personal? Somehow that fit into your version of the law?”

  I had no idea what she had heard between Daryanne and me, but clearly it was enough. She seemed unnecessarily jealous. This shit could not go down here.

  “I can’t do this here, Lucy. I…I can’t protect you here. We are too exposed. Come to my house tonight. We can talk about it then.”

  “Come to your house? What did you not understand about what my boss just said to you? She will fire me, Jenner.”

  Undoubtedly, Daryanne would pitch a fit if she found out that I was… whatever it was I was doing with Lucy. I had to find a way to keep this hidden. All along I’d been hesitant. Resistant. And for good reason. But hearing those words come out of Lucy’s mouth devastated me. I wasn’t ready to give her up.

  “Please come,” I asked as she fidgeted close to my door. She was going to bail, I could feel it.

  “Why, Jenner? So you can fuck me again, knowing that we will never be more?”

  Jesus. I wanted to tell her I wanted it all with her, but I fell short of saying the words.

  “No, Lucy. I…”

  “And seriously?” she interrupted. “Have you been in a relationship with her the entire time? Are you two even over?”

  I took two measured steps toward her shaking my head.

  Her chin trembled. “Is that why you said we could never be more? Because you were fucking her?”

  I’d never known her to run away from a fight. But damn, I swear she was inching closer and closer to the door.

  “Lucy.”

  “Jenner. She is everything I’m not. And nothing I want to be. I don’t understand. If you ever picked her, I have no idea what you’d ever want with me.”

  “Please come over and let me explain.”

  “Has she been to your house?”

  “Fuck, no.”

  Her features softened, and I stole the opportunity to dart toward her. I cupped her cheeks in my palms. “No woman has been to my home, Lucy. You fail to understand, and I don’t know how to make you understand. This is the only way I know.”

  She looked confused at first, the
n I kissed her persuasively, needing her to understand that I wanted to make her happy. Initially, she resisted, trying to shake her head, but then my tongue invaded her mouth. Finally, when she conceded to the kiss, her tongue slowly mingled with mine and she moaned. I lifted her beneath her arms and carried her to my desk. What the fuck was I doing?

  I shoved a file to the floor, sat her on the desk my father had bought me and wedged myself between her legs. It only took me seconds to skim beneath her skirt, flick my finger beneath her panties and find her wet. When she spread her legs even further apart, my cock pressed against the seam of my slacks.

  With one finger buried inside of her, my thumb found her sweet spot and set that pace that I’d used on her before. Once again, I covered her mouth with mine, breathing unspoken apologies and growing regret. Pleasing her was my job today. And though I was neglecting my real job, I needed this as much as she did. Her heart was hurting, her mind was jacked up…all because of me. This was the least I could do. Her fingers suddenly clawed at my dress shirt as her ragged breaths breezed past her lips. My eyes scanned over every inch of her face as she came apart by the pleasure of my hand.

  I swallowed hard as I memorized her expression. I wanted to see that look on her face every day. I thirsted for what she had to offer me. Yet, once the pleasure began to fade, she readjusted her panties, her skirt, and stood, blood invading her cheeks.

  “Jenner,” she whispered. “What have we done?”

  “Don’t say anything, Lucy. For just a second, I wanted you to feel good. That’s all.”

  Her eyes bulged. “I can’t take care of you right now and…” Frazzled, she picked up the file I’d sent to the floor earlier.

  “I’m not asking you to. I needed to take care of you. To show you…”

  “I have to go. I have to get back to work. I have cases to file and…oh dear God, what if I get fired?”

  I don’t even think she was talking to me.

  “Please come over later.” After jotting down my address, I handed her the paper.

  She stared at me. The mascara below her eyes smudged beautifully. I wanted her to stay in my office, but an uncomfortable silence had fallen between us. As she spun around and walked out—a piece of me wondered if that was the last time I’d ever touch her.

  Chapter 16

  UNDER OATH

  LUCY

  Henley looked gorgeous as usual when she sat next to me at Tony’s Tavern. Tony’s had served as our meeting place through law school; I just never had a drink in front of me like I did tonight. And it wasn’t my first. Vodka now swam through my veins rather than hurt and confusion.

  “What’s up? You look like shit,” she said with a smile, tossing popcorn in her mouth. A Tony’s Tavern bonus—a free popcorn machine that was always full for poor college students.

  “Thank you. I need your help,” I admitted, shaking my head. “Your advice.”

  “Of course.” She motioned to the bartender who already knew her drink.

  “Henley. This is so so so confidential. Like so so so so.” Hopefully she understood this with the multiple so’s.

  She took off her jacket and hung it on the hook outside the booth. Her eyes filled with concern.

  “OK. Are you in trouble?”

  The waitress slid Henley’s red beer toward her. I waited to talk until the waitress was gone.

  “Remember the guy from the club. The farmers market guy that met me at the hotel?”

  “The cherry popper?” she smiled, eating more popcorn.

  I nodded. “Is that really what kids are saying these days, Henley?” She grinned. “But, yes. That’s the one.”

  “How could I forget? That guy was sexy as hell.”

  “Yes. Well, I’ve seen him on and off, I guess you could say, for a couple of months.”

  Her eyes shot wide. “You’ve been keeping it a secret, you big ho!”

  I grinned, but the happiness never reached my eyes.

  “That’s not all, obviously. What’s wrong? Tell me the rest,” she said.

  The vodka seemed strong as I downed my drink. I needed it strong to get through this conversation. After clearing my throat, I looked her dead in the eye.

  “He is the Honorable Jenner Weber.”

  She shrugged. “A judge? So…”

  “So…think United States Supreme Court Justice Weber.”

  “Wow, the Supreme’s son? Nice but so?”

  Here came the biggest punch line of my joke of a life.

  “He’s the child in need of care judge. My judge.”

  Her hand clasped over her mouth as she froze with a wide-eyed stare.

  My best friend’s reaction said it all.

  I kept silent as I allowed my words to soak in.

  “Lu-cy.” My name sounded like two separate words coming out of her mouth. “Your judge? As in he presides over the cases you prosecute?”

  Disapproval lurked in her question.

  I nodded slowly—knowing her brain was firing on all synapses.

  “OK. OK. It’s ok. You haven’t fucked him since you found out he was the judge, right?”

  My telling stare was all she needed to answer her own question.

  “Jesus Christ, Lucy!”

  “Does him getting me off on his desk count?”

  Both her hands shot up covering her face. “Is that what they mean by ‘being guided by the standards of professional conduct?” The rest of her beer was gone in about three gulps. “This job was your dream job. You are doing exactly what you went to school for. What are you doing? This could ruin everything.”

  “I think I’m in love with him.”

  She did the staring this time. “What do you think the New York Commission on Judicial Discipline might think of that?”

  “Henley, please. I really need a friend.”

  After motioning for another drink, she turned her full attention to me. “I am a friend. A fucking great friend who is telling you to stop.”

  Closing my eyes, I rested my head against the back of the booth.

  “What do you want me to say, Luce? That it’s ok? What the hell is he saying?”

  “He seems as crazy as Kanye some days. Hot and cold. Up and down.”

  “In and out—of you, obviously.” A slight smile touched her lips. “Seriously. He’s fine with it?”

  I shook my head. “No. He knows it’s not ok. He’s said it can’t happen. He’s talked about the consequences. I don’t know. Somehow something still happens.”

  We sat in silence for what seemed like the longest few minutes.

  “What do you want from me? Are you just telling me or are you looking for advice?”

  “That’s not all…”

  “Oh, fuck me. Tell me you’re not pregnant with some judicial spawn. Or tell me Daddy Justice didn’t find out.”

  I wanted to tell her about the Munchausen case but honestly, that played second fiddle to the rest of this.

  “Apparently, he had a previous relationship with the Deputy DA in my office.” With just those words, she folded her arms on top of the table and rested her forehead on her arms. So, I didn’t stop there. “She saw us together. She said she would fire me if she found out that I was in his bed. Well, she didn’t tell me, but she said that to him.”

  “Well for God’s sake, Lucy. What are you questioning?”

  I rubbed my temples. When I said it out loud to her, my choice seemed obvious. But leaving Jenner was not as easy as she made it sound. “I don’t know.”

  “Seriously, is this guy worth losing your career?”

  My eyes were drawn to the front door of the Tavern. Jenner had magically appeared in the doorway. I’d never seen him look so disheveled. Droopy sweats, a West Point sweatshirt and a baseball cap completed his attire. His desperate eyes locked in on mine. What the hell? Was he following me?

  JENNER

  Stopping at Judge Eichman’s house wasn’t on my agenda, but desperation led me to his driveway. I sat tapping my thumb on t
he steering wheel staring up at the bright porch light. Larry had been a friend of my father’s and a mentor to me. Though he was our administrative judge, I trusted our friendship went deeper than that. But what I was about to do could never be undone.

  The dongs of the doorbell resonated through the big, wooden door. Then I heard Cindy announce she was coming from inside. Age had gotten the better of her, but she still lit up the room with her smile.

  “Jenner!” she said with a happy smile. “What brings you here?”

  I leaned in brushing a kiss over her cheek.

  “Hello, Cindy. So good to see you. Is Larry around?”

  Stepping inside, she closed the door behind me and motioned me down the hallway. “He’s super busy. Watching Survivor, I think.”

  I chuckled.

  “Larry, Jenner is here,” she announced, rounding the corner.

  “Ah, Jenner. Please sit down. And be quiet. We are at tribal counsel.”

  I shook my head laughing as Cindy rolled her eyes and left us alone. Then I sat and listened quietly as Jeff Probst talked to the tribe. I used to love this show, but somewhere along the lines, I stopped watching. It wasn’t long before the votes were read, someone was voted out and their torch was snubbed. Then, the TV was off.

  “What the hell is wrong?” he asked.

  I glanced up at him as my index finger rubbed repeatedly at a hangnail on my thumb.

  “What makes you think something is wrong?”

  “What is it, Jenner? Are you in trouble?”

  “Maybe.”

  Larry got up from his recliner and walked over to a liquor stand where he poured both of us a drink. Once he handed me the glass tumbler, I smelled it before I sipped. Scotch. Not a fan. But I hit it.

  “Am I judge or friend for this scenario?”

  “Friend. Sort of. Fuck, I don’t know. It’s career related.”

  “OK.” He sat in a different chair. “You gonna tell me or not?”

  “I’m in love with a prosecutor. And not just any prosecutor. She’s the one assigned to my division. Remember when you told me to end it with Daryanne? And I did. Straight away. Zero regrets. Well, Daryanne saw me hugging this girl and now she is out for blood. I tried to tell Daryanne that there was nothing. I don’t think she bought it. She threatened to fire the girl.”