Your Honor Read online

A cool miniature train circled around the bar near the ceiling. It was obvious why the place was called The Rail. The front of a train engine sat center stage with the bar encasing it, and two cabooses near the back served as private rooms.

  “Your boss is a bitch,” Hope said into my hair leaning into me.

  “Who?”

  “Daryanne Watkins.” She pointed across the bar at a beautiful blonde in what looked like an expensive suit who was tabbing out.

  “That’s my boss?”

  “Yep. One of the chief DA’s. Merciless. Wicked. I went to law school with her. I take it you didn’t interview with her?”

  “Nope but duly noted,” I laughed.

  “What are you girls drinking?” a guy from behind us asked.

  I didn’t even turn around. I wasn’t interested in the slightest. I should be…to get my mind off of Jenner, but I wasn’t. Both Bethany and Hope turned though. I’d have been content right then to go back to my hotel room and read. The girls told him what they were drinking.

  “And you, lovely lady?” he asked, sidling closer to me. When I glanced at him, he looked nice enough. Bigger in the belly and definitely older than me by maybe fifteen or so years.

  “I’m good. But, thank you.”

  “You girls seem too young to be judges, so I’m guessing attorneys?”

  Bethany spun completely around to face him. “What on earth makes you think we are attorneys?”

  “We are, BTW,” Hope spat out, making me laugh.

  “I’m assuming you walked over from the hotel,” the man said. “I just thought four old judges could buy you ladies a drink, that’s all.”

  My ears perked up. “There are judges at this conference?”

  “Not just old ones.”

  A tingling sensation fluttered up my spine as Jenner’s voice soaked slowly into my pores. I had no choice but to look at him.

  “Judge Weber,” I greeted with a half-hearted smile. A magnetic force drew our eyes to one another’s.

  “Hello, Miss Edwards. Out in the real world, you can call me Jenner. How are you?”

  Hearing my name, even with all of his formality, made my heart skip a beat. “I’m tired, actually. Going to turn in soon. But good to see you. How are you?”

  “I’m good as well. I’m not sure how much longer I’ll be out either.”

  “Hello, Jenner. I’m Hope.” She interrupted and nudged me with her elbow, then offered her hand to him.

  “Hello, Hope.”

  His dark eyes flickered to hers as he shook her hand, then back to mine as an awkward silence fell between us.

  “Trust me, Jenner, she’s not going anywhere,” Hope added. “We met some guys from Jersey in one of our sessions. They’re supposed to meet us later.”

  Jenner’s jaw ticked as his eyes flickered with something I couldn’t read. I glanced toward the basketball game playing on one of the TVs at the bar.

  “Ah-ow,” the judge who offered to buy us drinks moaned out loud as he pretended to stab himself in the heart. “We’ve already been replaced…by attorneys.” He laughed, and I flashed an exaggerated smile, trying to enjoy myself. My body hummed simply from Jenner’s proximity.

  His body shifted toward mine, transmitting a message only I would understand. No matter how many people stood around us, he, too, was thinking about what happened between us. The boundaries we’d crossed.

  “LUCY! I’m home!” a deep voice from behind me shouted sounding like Ricky Ricardo. Before I could turn, Jenner’s eyes abandoned mine, glaring at the young guys coming in the door.

  When I spun around on the stool, I saw the guys from the Supreme Court update session. Advaith was the darker-skinned guy, but I couldn’t recall which one was Kurt or which was Matt.

  Offering them a smile, I waved. Hope stood and did the intros.

  “These guys are judges,” she laughed, pointing. “They are fraternizing with the peons.” She winked at Jenner. Who wouldn’t wink at Jenner?

  “Judge Weber, Judge Bryant and Judge Kingsman.”

  “Weber?” Matt asked. “Any relation to the big guy down in Washington?” he laughed.

  Everything inside of me cringed. This was so getting off on the wrong foot.

  Jenner cleared his throat. “That ‘big guy’ is my father.”

  Matt’s complexion turned three different shades of white as I grabbed a couple of dollars and escaped to the jukebox. I closed my eyes, holding onto the glass trying to breathe my way out of this. Then, without even opening them, I knew he was there. My body felt it.

  “Seriously, you girls were meeting up with those guys?”

  “Meeting up with them, Jenner. Not fucking them. And, why does that even matter?”

  I pushed the numbers with force to play Beyoncé’s Irreplaceable first. Then just as forcefully entered Cry me a River by Justin Timberlake. One song left. I went with I Knew You Were Trouble by T-Swift. Proud of my choices, I glanced up at him.

  “They are tools.” He gripped the front of the jukebox like he was ready to break the glass. “‘Lucy, I’m home’?” Jenner mimicked Kurt. “You can’t be serious.”

  “We met at the session today, chatted about having a drink. Don’t make it more.”

  “Yes. And if I remember correctly, that’s how you met me. Are you going to come around his finger tonight? Or are you just going to tie your shirt in a knot and call it quits?”

  With pursed lips, I narrowed my eyes.

  “Stop acting like a jealous boyfriend, Your Honor.”

  With that, I spun around and headed back to the table.

  About an hour had passed with Jenner’s eyes burning into me for the first half hour of it. For the last thirty minutes, he and Hope had been discussing a legal issue with her apartment. I wasn’t normally the jealous type. The only jealously I’d ever experienced was that of kids who had both parents or even one who came to their events and graduations. But, sitting there watching Jenner and Hope engage in conversation, I had to admit that the irritated buzz in the back of my head grew with every passing minute. He could take her back to his room if he wanted and have his way with her. She worked for a private firm and would never be anywhere near his courtroom. They wouldn’t have any issues with a relationship. So, who was the jealous one? I sipped my drink faster than I should.

  “Sorry to interrupt, Judges,” Kurt drawled. “But ladies, you ever had a key party?”

  Bethany shook her head. “Nope.” Her eyes looked hazed over. “Tell us how to play.”

  Kurt held up his hotel key card and then pointed to his two friends, who also sported key cards. “We all three put our keys in the center of the table. Each of you pick a key. No one knows who they got until we get to the hotel.” Kurt relaxed back in his chair, looking proud.

  “Jesus,” Jenner muttered, shaking his head and downing the amber liquid in his tumbler.

  “Does that shit really work?” Judge Bryant asked the younger boys.

  “Of course it does,” Matt said laughing.

  My phone chimed, and I grabbed it. When I saw Jenner’s name on my screen, my heart stalled.

  My key is the only key you’ll leave here with.

  Unsure if his eyes were on me, I tried to steady my breathing as I typed back.

  I thought you didn’t text. But. Is that a proposition?

  I kept my phone in my hand. Jenner stood and excused himself. The other two judges shook their heads. Momentarily, my phone buzzed.

  No. But you are damn sure not accepting one of theirs.

  With him still in the restroom, I clutched my purse and decided to leave.

  “Hey girls, my head is killing me,” I lied. “Not sure why. Tomorrow night, we drink. Deal?” My words came out quickly.

  “No! Don’t go.”

  “I’m know. I’m sorry. Gonna head to my room.”

  Kurt held up his room key. “Or my room, Lucy,” he laughed.

  I shook my head, laughing at his eagerness. Jenner reappeared at the table, trying no
t to posture, but failing miserably. I was the only one who really noticed as I strolled past him. As the door closed behind me, I saw him glance down at his phone.

  Chapter 11

  JUDICIAL ACTIVISM

  LUCY

  The night air was cooler than when we’d come in. Glad I had thrown on my jean capris, I wished I’d worn my sweater. Swarms of people walked the streets. Even in the business district, there were enough bars and restaurants to make this area fun in the evening. A group of girls all decked out for a bachelorette party laughed on the street corner. Dildo necklaces circled their necks, and the bride carried a dildo cup. I laughed as I walked past them, listening to their slurred, drunken words.

  I cast a glimpse back toward the bar door, wondering if Jenner had followed me, but I didn’t see him. Images of him and Hope talking battered my brain. My bi-polar thoughts drove me crazy.

  The crosswalk pedestrian signal began the countdown for me to walk. Hustling across the street, I just wanted to get back to my room, away from him. I stopped at the hotel bar and ordered a glass of wine, putting it on my room tab. I wasn’t much of a drinker, but I hated beer and hated even more the fruity crap that a lot of girls drank. Wine I could do…and a dirty martini.

  As the elevator moved slowly up, I stared out the glass into the lush courtyard of the hotel. My eyes didn’t spot what they searched for before the elevator dinged at my floor. When the doors opened, I took a sip of my drink and stepped off—and there he was.

  The wine stuck in my esophagus mid swallow. I cleared my throat.

  “You left the bar because of me?” he asked.

  How in the hell had he beat me back? “Yes.” I moved past him. “Careful, Judge. Someone may see us talking.” A sarcastic pitch hung in my tone.

  “Lucy.” Something lingered in his tone as well.

  I scanned my key over the pad on my door, which flashed green, unlocking the door. I pushed it open, releasing it and silently listening for him to catch the door. After I dropped my purse in the corner, I turned around, staring at him.

  “What do you want, Judge.” I hoped my calling him judge annoyed him. “We didn’t swap keys. So, why are you standing in the door of my hotel room?”

  A grimace flickered over his facial features, but he remained silent.

  “Pleading the fifth? What the hell happened to this matter is fucking adjourned?” I asked. His back and forth on whatever “we” were was exhausting, and every single time he found me, my hopes grew higher.

  “Watch your mouth, Lucy.”

  Holding on to the stem of the wine goblet, I gulped the red wine until it was gone. “You’re not my father, Jenner.”

  “No. I’m not. Not even close.”

  My eyes snapped to meet his. He knew something about my father. His words held a knowing comparison. Shit. I didn’t want him to know anything. Embarrassment caused me to ignore the comment.

  He shook his head, still standing with both hands in his pockets.

  “Why did it matter to you if I went to one of those guy’s rooms?” I asked, hoping to back him into an admission.

  “You mean besides them being complete douche bags?”

  “Yes, besides that.”

  “Is that what you wanted, Lucy? One of them?”

  “You know that’s not what or who I wanted, Jenner.”

  Before I totally finished my sentence, he raked his fingers through his hair. My phone rang from my purse, but I ignored it. Nothing was going to interrupt us. He took a seat on the corner of my bed. His silence crushing.

  “What is wrong with you? Say something!” I raised my voice, turning away and staring out the high-rise window.

  “Say something? What do you want me to say, Lucy? Do you want me to read you the oath I took? There was a little part about faithfully and impartially discharging and performing all duties…” He sighed. “That’s the part I’m struggling with. I rule against you one time, and you come to my chambers to argue. I cannot let personal bias get in the way of my decisions. What part of that is confusing to you?”

  “I needed you to understand that you made the wrong decision in that case,” I explained.

  “You never would have gone to chambers had it been a different judge. You came to my chambers because of the relationship we have. I can’t be impartial when it comes to you. I…can’t.”

  My heart swelled and cracked all at the same time. I would never feel his hands on my body again, I just knew it. “I took an oath too, you know.”

  “Yes. But I’m the judge, Lucy. I’m held to a higher standard. I’m the one that has to say no. I’m the one that has to back down. I’m the one who has to draw the line.”

  “And that’s just so simple for you?”

  “It damn well should be. But would I really be standing in your hotel room desperately wanting to touch you if it was that simple?”

  The professional and ethical dilemma we found ourselves in was brutally unfair. Quit our jobs. Quit each other. Unjust options.

  “Just go, Jenner. It’s fine. I get it.”

  “You don’t get it. I’ve been trying to get myself to leave this room since the moment I stepped in, and I can’t leave to save my life, Lucy, let alone my career.”

  Our eyes locked as a long minute ticked, the sexual tension almost stifling. It was like the low hum of a power substation—always there.

  My phone started ringing again. Something was wrong. It was too late at night for me to just coincidentally get two calls within ten minutes. I grabbed it from my purse. Hank.

  “I have to answer this,” I explained. “Hank? What’s wrong?” I turned to face the window again, needing to find an ounce of concentration. Hank never called this late.

  “Hey, Little Miss. Where are you?”

  “Hank. Just tell me. What’s wrong?”

  “Well now, I need you to relax because he’s gonna be just fine. But Pops took a tumble tonight,” Hank clarified. “They called me just a bit ago.

  “Where are you?” I snatched my purse up so fast half the contents fell out of it. Tears pooled in my eyes as I bent down to pick the stuff up.

  “We’re at the hospital just to make sure that he didn’t mess up his squash,” Hank chuckled.

  Suddenly, Jenner was next to me, touching my hands, pushing them away from the things that had spilled. He picked up all my personal things and slid them into my purse. While Hank told me where to go, Jenner got his car keys out of his pocket, grabbed my sweater and stood at the door with my purse in his hand. That’s when the tears spilled over.

  JENNER

  When she disconnected the call and followed me out of the room, she didn’t seem to even know which way to go.

  “Lucy,” I said taking her hand. “Come on.” I directed her to the elevator unsure myself where we were going, but knowing I’d take her there. “Will you tell me what’s going on?”

  She swiped away the tears from her cheeks nodding. “Yes. But you don’t have to do this. I can catch a cab to the hospital. Seriously.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Please, tell me what’s happened.”

  “My Pops. The man that raised me. He’s my grandpa. He fell tonight,” she cried, and without thinking, I pulled her close. Intimacy felt right with her. And her god damned body fit perfectly into my side. Though my brain cussed me once we were close. It was like handing a hypodermic needle to a heroin addict.

  No sooner did I hold her close to me than the elevator doors slid open, exposing us. Four people waited to get on as we instinctively pulled apart. I silently hoped she forgave me for letting go.

  In the car, I stared at her, speechless as soundless tears streaked her beautiful face. I’d seen her cry from anger or frustration, but this was from hurt. I shook my head, irritated with myself as my heart melted, wanting to hold her, to comfort her. All I could do was take her shaking hand in mine.

  She caught me staring, but I didn’t look away. I hadn’t been able to show her that I cared; I desperately wante
d her to know now. Yet, all I offered her was a tight-lipped smile. I truly was an emotional cripple.

  “How did you know about my father?”

  My eyes suddenly clung to the road, watching every curve approach and following the lines. Where before I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, now I couldn’t meet her gaze. I had told myself that my research into her past was so that I could understand what had happened with her mother… how that made Lucy the way she was…but I realized it was more than that.

  “I read about him.”

  “Why?”

  After an extremely long minute, I lied. “I wanted to review how the judge ruled in your case. How he managed to get you out of the home.”

  Her forlorn eyes left mine and gazed out at the road. It wasn’t a total lie. I did, in fact, want to judicially review the case. But that’s not why I made the request for her file.

  “A crazy mother and a criminal father. Pretty impressive, eh?” Her voice cracked, and I squeezed her hand.

  “We aren’t our parents, Lucy. Your father robbed banks. He didn’t harm people. Regardless, that doesn’t mitigate what I feel for you.”

  Her lips parted at that admission, and her green eyes rounded.

  Before my mouth betrayed me more, I lifted her hand to my lips and brushed the soft skin with a kiss. The hospital was still another ten minutes away, but we spent that time in silence.

  The emergency department was crowded with people. Generally, just by looking, you could tell who was sick and who was waiting. Given that flu season had just begun—this wasn’t the best time to be in a place like this. I prowled behind Lucy as her eyes scanned the rooms for familiar faces. When she bee lined it for a corner, I followed closely. An older gentleman stood when he saw her.

  “Hank,” she cried, latching onto him.

  “Hey now, Little Miss. He’s gonna be just fine. But I think he has a broken rib.”

  She quickly pushed away from the man and greeted the man in the wheelchair.

  “Hey, Pops,” she whispered, touching his shoulder.

  “Yes, ma’am. Is my granddaughter here? I need her to know that I fell.”